This quote stopped me in my tracks this morning because feeling stuck in life doesn’t always look the way we expect it to from the outside—or to others.

 

Feeling “stuck” doesn’t necessarily mean we are sitting still, refusing to make decisions or doing nothing at all with our lives. Sometimes feeling stuck actually looks—and is—incredibly busy. We can fill every hour of our day taking care of other people, meeting obligations, cleaning up messes, answering messages and keeping everything moving as usual, all while quietly knowing that some things in our own lives are no longer working.

 

From the outside, we appear productive and on track. Inside, however, we still feel restless, disconnected or unsure about where we belong or where we are going.

 

We Hate This Stuck Feeling—So Why Do We Stay Stuck?

Being Stuck Still Feels Safer Than Changing 

 

Even when we recognize that something no longer fits, familiarity can be hard to leave.

 

At least the familiar is predictable, even if it isn’t making us happy. We know what is expected of us and how to get through each day. Change, on the other hand, asks us to take risks and step into something we cannot fully see yet. That risk and uncertainty are frightening.

 

This is especially true during major life transitions. Our children grow up. Our relationships change. Our bodies change. Careers that once worked for us may no longer provide what we need. The routines that effectively carried our families through one season may feel horribly empty in the next.

 

This is my current season. This is where I am “stuck” right now.

 

We know we need something different, but we’re not even sure exactly what “different” should look like.

 

That doesn’t mean we are failing—but I’ll be honest: the uncertainty and self-doubt can make us feel as though we are failing ourselves and the people counting on us. In reality, feeling stuck may simply mean we are paying attention to our situation and our inner voice—and recognizing that we need to make changes in our lives.

 

Why Do We Feel Guilty for Feeling Stuck?

Outgrowing Something Does Not Mean It Was Wrong for Us 

 

One of the hardest parts of moving forward is feeling as though we are somehow rejecting the life we had before or that we aren’t grateful or appreciative of that season of life. This guilt can be self-induced, or it can be caused by the surprising reactions we receive from outsiders who see our lives as the perfect “dream life.”

 

Remember that outgrowing a role, habit, goal or expectation does not erase its value. Something can have been right for us once but not be right for us now.

 

A season of life may have taught us, protected us or given us a sense of purpose and meaning. We can appreciate what it gave us without requiring ourselves to remain in that season or space forever.

 

This is definitely something I have been thinking about as my family life changes and I try to rebuild a work and home life that belongs to me again. I am seeking to find myself within the empty nest while trying to decide what I want for the next twenty years of my life.

 

For nearly thirty years, so much of my daily purpose came from focusing on what other people needed. Now I am learning that creating something for myself doesn’t diminish the value of the time and attention I gave my family.

 

It simply acknowledges that I am still growing. It acknowledges that I need to grow into my next role. My next space. My next season of life.

 

Am I Running Away from My Problems or Running Toward a Better Place?

Not Every Uncomfortable Situation Requires an Exit 

 

Remember that discomfort alone doesn’t always mean we should leave something behind. Being uncomfortable in a moment doesn’t necessarily mean we are “stuck” in life.

 

Some seasons require patience. Some relationships deserve honest conversations and repair. Some goals become difficult shortly before we begin making meaningful progress.

 

The question is not simply, “Am I running away from the uncomfortable things in my life?”

 

A more useful question may be, “Is this discomfort helping me grow, or is this situation forcing me into a shell that I no longer want to be contained inside?”

 

Healthy growth may challenge us, but it should not continually ask us to abandon our dreams, silence our needs or pretend that we are content when we are not.

 

There is a difference between the temporary discomfort of following a new path and the ongoing pain of living somewhere—emotionally, professionally or personally—that we have already outgrown.

 

When you are stuck at a life transition point, it is so easy to feel guilty for your feelings. It is easy to feel as though you are running away from obstacles in your path instead of accepting that you are moving forward along your next path in life.

 

What If I Have No Idea What’s Next for My Life?

You Do Not Need the Entire Plan 

 

Sometimes we stay stuck because we think we must know exactly where we should go next before taking the first step.

 

Most of the time, we do not.

 

Change rarely arrives as a complete plan. It may simply begin with updating a résumé, sending one email, setting one boundary, publishing one piece of writing or admitting that something needs to be different.

 

A small step may not look impressive to anyone else. It may not produce an immediate result. But it can interrupt your pattern of postponing change and waiting for the perfect moment.

 

If you are unsure where to begin, ask yourself: 

• What part of my life feels the most out of balance?
• What am I continuing to do simply because it is familiar and safe?
• Where am I regularly ignoring my own needs?
• What would one honest step forward look like today?
• What support would make that step feel possible?

 

You do not need to answer every question at once. Notice which one makes you pause. That may be where you are currently stuck.

 

Where Do I Begin?

Moving Forward Without Rushing Yourself

 

There is no prize for changing your life as fast as you can.

 

Growth does not need to be dramatic or instant to be real. You are allowed to move carefully, gather information, protect your finances and consider how your decisions will affect the people you love.

 

You are also allowed to acknowledge that remaining where you are has a cost. It may not be a true dollar amount. It could be a personal growth cost instead.

 

Moving forward does not mean that you are ungrateful for the past. It means you are ready and willing to participate in the life that is still ahead of you.

 

The Takeaway for Today

 

If something in your life no longer fits, you do not have to run in a different direction immediately. Begin your next season by being honest about what you are feeling.

 

You can appreciate the years of life that carried you here while still making room for what comes next.

 

Choose one area where you feel stuck and take one useful step. It does not need to transform your entire life today. It only needs to move you a little closer to a life in which you can grow.

 

Last week, my friend and I were out for coffee and, as it often does, our conversation turned to our kids and some issues they had been facing. As we talked about the girls and life's ups and downs, his face fell, and he said something that stuck with me: "I just don't understand why the kids can't accept being miserable and just move on with it. That's what you have to do." I was taken aback for a moment. Inside, my heart sank. There is an Oscar Wilde quote that has lingered with me for years: "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." My friend's words felt like a perfect example of existing—going through the motions, accepting misery as the default. But, I've lived long enough to know that life doesn't have to be that way, and I believe we're all capable of truly living if we choose to.

So, don't get me wrong--I've certainly had my fair share of struggles. I've made plenty of mistakes in life, but I have learned a thing or two, also. For example, life isn't just about enduring or "getting by." It's about finding meaning, chasing moments of joy, and refusing to let the weight of the world dull your spark. So today, I want to share a different perspective—one that pushes back on the idea of accepting misery and offers a few thoughts on how to start truly living, no matter where you are in life.

 

Existing vs. Living: What's the Difference?

 

When Oscar Wilde said that most people merely exist, I believe he was pointing to the way so many of us fall into living life on autopilot. We get up, make breakfast, go to work, clean the house and repeat—often without questioning if there's more to it. Existing is surviving, checking boxes off the to-do list, and letting life happen to us. Living, on the other hand, is taking the reins. It's about seeking purpose, embracing curiosity, and finding beauty even in the small things. Living life is unfortunately rare because it isn't actually as "easy" as it sounds. Living takes effort, courage, and it requires that we venture outside the comfort zone of "just getting by."

 

I've been there myself. There were years in my life when I felt stuck in a pattern I hated, going through the motions because, partly, I thought that's what you're supposed to do. I knew that simply wasn't true--but it was easy to fall into the trap of "misery". I felt empty inside. It wasn't until I started asking myself what I really wanted—beyond the paycheck or the expectations—that I began to feel alive again. That shift didn't happen overnight, but it started with a choice: to stop accepting misery as my baseline.

 

Why "Accepting Misery" Isn't the Answer

 

Life can be really hard sometimes. There are always bills to pay, unexpected health challenges to face, or heartaches that knock the wind out of us. For many of us, especially in older generations, the message was often, "Suck it up and keep going." And while resilience is important, there's a difference between pushing through tough times and resigning yourself to a life without joy or meaning. Accepting—or worse, telling our kids—that misery is just "part of life" robs us of the chance to grow, to dream, and to find what makes life actually worth living.

 

I've seen firsthand that accepting misery as the norm can create a ripple effect. It can make us bitter, disconnected, and closed off to new possibilities. It can teach our children to give up on happiness or fulfillment. People shouldn't see life as a set of miserable daily chores. We're in this world to experience, to create, and to connect--not just endure the mundane tasks.

 

Steps Toward Truly Living

 

So how do we move from existing to living? I'm not promising a magical fix or a life without struggles, but I've found a few things over the years that have helped me—and maybe they'll help you too. 

Decide What Makes you Feel Alive

Take a moment to figure out what brings you joy or peace in your life. What makes you feel most "alive"? Maybe you love painting, hiking in nature, cooking huge family dinners, or even just relaxing with a good book. I love home improvement and decorating. I love color and natural elements--but my home became a mismatch of my family's styles and interests over the past twenty years. Reclaiming my home--and reflecting my style recently--has become a source of peace and pride I hadn't felt in ages. It doesn't have to be big or grand—just something that stirs your soul. Start small and make time for it.

Defeat the "This Is Just How It Is" Mindset

If you think that misery is inevitable in your life, pause and ask, "Is that true, or have I made it my comfort zone?" Sometimes, we trap ourselves with old beliefs. Sometimes, we find ourselves turning into our parents and exhibiting the limitations that bound them that don't actually exist in our current lives. I am unlearning the idea that changing careers in my 50s isn't "too late." While it hasn't been easy, making changes has opened new opportunities I didn't know existed five years ago! You don't have to overhaul your life overnight, but start questioning the limits you've set for yourself.

Connect With Others

One of the biggest differences between existing and living is connection. When we isolate ourselves or keep our struggles bottled up, life feels heavier. Schedule lunch with an old friend, join a fitness class at the gym, join a hiking club, or even strike up a conversation with a stranger. I've found some of my most meaningful moments in unexpected chats at the gym or volunteering at a community event. We're not meant to do this alone—shared laughter or a kind word can remind you why life matters.

Set a Small, Bold Goal

Living life means taking risks--even if they are just tiny ones. Think of something you've always wanted to try but talked yourself out of—a class, a trip, or even speaking up about something that matters to you. A few years back, I decided to join a gym despite having zero experience with strength training or gym equipment. I didn't know what I was doing, but I didn't give up, and I learned something new that I love. It reminded me that I could still try to learn new things. Pick one thing and go for it.

Savor the Ordinary

Finally, remember that living doesn't always mean chasing big adventures. Sometimes, life means appreciating the little things instead--like the simple beauty of a clump of wildflowers, the smell of pine trees, or the feel of your dog's fur. Slow down and appreciate little moments, especially on days when life feels heavy. These things are small reminders that even the mundane can be be beautiful.

 

A Call to Live, Not Just Exist

 

Oscar Wilde's words should actually challenge us to never settle for merely existing when you have the incredible opportunity to live. I should have told my friend that life doesn't have to be a slog—that even in our hardest moments, there's room for hope, for joy, for something more. And to the younger folks who might feel pressure to "just accept" misery, I want to say this: you don't have to. 

 

Even after all these years, there are still days that I struggle with this realization, and fall into a blah-blah-blah path of "existence". Living—truly living—is honestly an active choice we make every day. It's messy, it's imperfect, and sometimes it's so very hard. But it's also the rarest, most precious thing we can do. 

 

So, if you have been feeling stuck and miserable in life--take a small step today toward a life that feels like yours because you deserve it. Nobody should accept being miserable. That is simply not how we should be living our lives every day.

 

What's one thing that makes you feel alive? 

I'd love to hear about it in the comments. 

Let's inspire each other to keep choosing life over mere existence.

 

The new year brings lots of new goals and resolutions! Sometimes, we have so many new goals, in so many areas of our lives, that we become easily exhausted and overwhelmed! It isn't easy juggling multiple goals while staying sane and focused. Maybe you're building a small business or a side hustle, while trying to get your diet and exercise plans in check. Or, you're working on advancing your career, reconnecting with your romantic partner, or raising a family. If you want to work on your many goals, sleep a little, and have any sort of social life at all, you're going to need some help! Luckily, here's the reality: you don't have to do it all alone. Here are five honest, real-world reasons why asking for help isn't just okay – it's 100% necessary for your success.

 

Time Is Your Most Precious Resource

Think about it: there are only 24 hours in a day, and you need to sleep for about a third of that time. When you're trying to crush it at work, hit the gym, launch a business, and maintain relationships, every minute counts. Asking for help – whether it's hiring a virtual assistant to manage your email or having a friend pick up your groceries – can free up valuable hours you can dedicate to your most important goals.

 

Others Have Already Solved Your Problems

 

Remember struggling to develop a social media calendar for your side hustle? Someone in your network has likely already tackled a similar challenge. Instead of spending hours watching marketing tutorials, researching the best spots to find hashtags and trends, and re-inventing the wheel, reaching out to experienced individuals can help you avoid common mistakes. Their insights and shortcuts could save you loads of time--and get you on the track toward profit sooner than you would on your own.

 

Accountability Partners Keep You On Track

 

It's easy to hit snooze when you're the only one expecting yourself at the gym at 6 AM. But when your workout buddy is waiting for you, that's a different story. Having someone to answer to dramatically increases your chances of sticking to your commitments. Whether it's a mentor checking on your business progress or a friend joining you on your healthy eating journey, accountability partnerships make success more likely.

 

Different Perspectives Lead to Better Solutions

 

You might think you've considered all angles of a problem, but everyone has blind spots. When you're stuck trying to balance your work schedule with your passion project, a fresh pair of eyes might spot opportunities you've missed. Maybe a colleague could suggest better flexible working hours, or a family member might suggest a carpooling plan or childcare support you hadn't considered asking for.

 

Building a Support Network Creates Opportunities

 

When you reach out for help, you're not just solving immediate problems – you're building relationships that can open doors in the future. That fitness instructor who helps you with your form might later connect you with a potential client. The mentor who advises you on your business strategy might become a future investor. Every time you ask for help, you're creating and strengthening connections that could lead to unexpected opportunities.

 

 

Ready to Take Action?

 

Start small. Identify one area where you're struggling and make a list of three people who might be able to help. Maybe it's a colleague who excels at time management, a friend who's great with technology, or a family member who could assist with daily tasks. We often forget, but most people actually enjoy helping others. Helping others is rewarding. It makes them feel valued and needed.

 

Start now. Don't let pride or fear hold you back from reaching your full potential. The most successful people aren't those who do everything themselves; they're the ones who build strong networks and aren't afraid to lean on them. Take that first step today: reach out to someone and ask for help. Your future self will thank you for it.

What better way to kick of the month of November than with a 30 Day Gratitude Challenge! If you missed the value of a gratitude jar or gratitude journal post--take a minute and check out that post! As an effort to refocus and let go of some of the negativity that settled in over the past several months, I have decided to focus on a daily gratitude theme each day in November!

 

To get things started today, I will reflect on the good, positive moments of the morning--and that is not always easy on a Monday morning, is it? Hopefully, this little daily exercise in gratitude will allow me to be more mindful of at least some parts of my day--and find some positive points of gratitude in aspects of my day that I may have missed in the moments! 

 

Whether you are keeping a gratitude jar or journal--or simply sharing a grateful post on social media--join us this month as we document things that make us grateful and celebrate 30 days of gratitude! 

 

Ready to Join Us in the 

30 Days of Gratitude November Challenge?

 

I am going to be adding my daily moments of gratitude to a gratitude jar and, below, you will find a printable list of 30 days of writing prompts to help you journal as well as a simple, printable theme list for daily gratitude reflection and social media sharing! 

 

Journal Writing Prompts for the 

30 Days of Gratitude November Challenge?

 

Day 1.   This morning, I was grateful for...

Day 2.   I saw three things made me happy/smile today...

Day 3.   When I smelled ...  it reminded me of....

Day 4.   The best tasting food/drink that I had today was...

Day 5.   I had forgotten how ... the ... felt until I touched it today.

Day 6.   The most wonderful sound that I heard today was...

Day 7.   I am grateful for my family today because...

Day 8.   I said thank you to ... because...

Day 9.   This afternoon, I was grateful for ...

Day 10. Today, I saw (this animal) and it made me feel...

Day 11.  During a walk ... I saw...

Day 12. I am grateful for the food at (breakfast/lunch/dinner) today because...

Day 13. I am thankful for the water that I ...

Day 14. Today, I took time to practice self care by ...

Day 15. I love this part of my home.  It makes me feel...

Day 16. Today, I laughed because...

Day 17. This evening, I ... and it made me feel...

Day 18. Although it was a challenge today, I am glad that I ...

Day 19. The best gift that I received today was...

Day 20. I learned/remembered a valuable life lesson today--and it made me realize...

Day 21. The most inspirational story I heard today was about...

Day 22. I am so happy that I accomplished these three things today...

Day 23. Today, I remembered...and it made me feel...

Day 24. One dream that I have for the future is...

Day 25. I went outside at night and was grateful for...

Day 26. The most beautiful thing that I saw today was...

Day 27. The one thing that brought me peace today was...

Day 28. I was thankful to have time to enjoy (this hobby) today

Day 29. I was the happiest today when...

Day 30. Today, I was grateful that my career gives me...

 

Print the Journal Prompts for November!

 

Daily Themes for the 

30 Days of Gratitude November Challenge?

I am so looking forward to taking some time each day to reflect on the daily gratitude themes we chose for the month!  While I doubt I will post daily reflections on the day's theme every day of the month--I do hope to share some highlights of each themed day on Instagram and our other social media spots!

 

Print the Daily Themes for the 30 Days of Gratitude November Challenge

 

 

If you opt to follow along on social use #30DayBalancePeaceGratitude and enjoy your month!

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